Leaving for Pakistan

Until my parents decided to leave for Pakistan, I had been asking my sisters regularly, when are they going? I felt bad asking and wishing for their departure, but I couldn’t handle the arguments, the tension and the disappointment anymore and just wanted them gone. It was affecting me in so many ways, i didn’t have the space in my head to stop and think about myself or where my life was going, because instead I was going over the same issues of the last seven years.

When they announced their departure they tried to persuade me to go with them. Whilst they ha given up on my living with them in Pakistan, they were now focusing on my going with them, assisting them during the pilgrimage to Mecca and that afterwards I should go to Pakistan with them, stay there for a month and then return.

As I was awaiting a job offer, I explained this wouldn’t be possible. They weren’t pleased, as they don’t take into account professional life and the impracticalities of telling a potential employer who wants you to start in the next few weeks that you are going to be abroad for a month.

I said I’d visit them towards the end of the year, to help my father sort out his financial issues and visit them.

They weren’t pleased but accepted it and started to make preparations to leave, whilst I counted down the days until they did so.

Comments

[Kate Monro]

So glad to see you're back!

[sheena]

hello there.

i just found your blog today and wonder if you're going to post again. i'm hoping so. while the specifics vary greatly i definitely relate to your feelings of being sort of an outsider in your family, and your desire to go your own route. i'm really rooting for you and admire that you find ways to do things for yourself and don't allow others to write your story.

did you go to pakistan with your family???

i'll peek in now and then to see if you're back writing.