I was bought up a Sunni Muslim. This is one sect of Islam which is well known now, due to the focus on terrorism and my religion in the media.
As I was growing up my religious instruction was a bit of a mixed bag. I learnt Urdu and Arabic at home, taught by my sisters. Urdu was taught because it's the language of Pakistan, although we speak a dialect of Urdu/Punjabi at home, specific to the region of Kashmir we're from. We didn't go to a school for learning, as that wasn't allowed then. I remember Parveen and I going to a Sunday school for a short time but it was considered too much of a risk for us to be out alone, with no-one to watch over us, so we'd stopped after going a few times. I'd been eleven and Parveen eighteen.
The aim of learning Arabic was to read the Koran so I was taught it parrot fashion - which means I can read it but can't understand what it says. A bit like I can read French because I know the alphabet but wouldn't understand it. It would have been more useful to learn Arabic properly, so I could understand what I was reading. And more interesting.
Every Muslim has to read the Koran at least once in their life. In my family we re-read it and dedicate the reading in the name of a dead relative. It's seen as a blessing for them and for yourself.
The Koran is made of thirty chapters, which are about eleven A4 pages of writing on both sides, in Arabic script. The Arabic isn't easy to read and takes time. Once I was used to it, it would take me fifty minutes to read one chapter. That doesn't sound bad and it wasn't, but I couldn't understand what I was reading. I didn't mind, as it was something I had to do and was used to doing. But i'd have preferred to read it in English and understand what it said. I also defy anyone who has ever read the Koran in this way to tell me their mind didn't wander when they read it, onto all sorts of other things. That's not meant to happen, you're meant to be absorbed by what you're reading, but that's difficult when you don't understand anything.
I read the Koran, memorized the six kalma's which are.. .and learnt how to perform the five prayers compulsory for all Muslims to read, five times a day, everyday. I went through phases of praying during my teenage years, but praying isn't practical as it happens throughout the day. There are lots of people who do it, but I never stuck to it for more than a few weeks, although if I was going through a tough time, I always turned to it. Religion is like that for me.
During my teenage years, i'd come home from school, change out of my uniform, perform voo'zu, the ritual wash required to pray and read Koran for at least an hour everyday.
I never minded doing this and once I got into it actually enjoyed it and liked the feeling of being 'good' which came from it, because inevitably my parents, my brother or whoever was around would praise me for being such a Good Girl. There is no better way than practicing religion to get into my parents good books. If I started praying now, it'd make my life much easier. But I can't seem to. It must be some last rebellion in me.
I have a lot of love for my religion and become very offended at the extremist perception of it. My faith has helped me in many ways, at times which were so dark that if I hadn't been a believer, i'm not sure if I could have coped. Thinking there had to be something bigger and more powerful, and a reason why bad things were happening got me through.
But what I didn't like and don't like is the way Islam is translated and changed to suit cultural needs within families and communities such as mine. There are no well educated Muslims in my family, no scholars of Islam. But there are plenty of those who think they are and who've made rules for the rest of us to follow. By basing them on Islam they've made these rules legitimate and it becomes difficult for someone like myself to refute them without being branded a non-believer. And for those rules where it's not possible to give an Islamic reason, we're told (usually by a man), that's how we live.
There's no healthy debate and no room for questioning. Parveen's accused me of being a non-believer, when I didn't want to watch her religious propaganda films. Both Parveen and Sameena have given me religious lectures, with their voices getting higher and higher when I didn't respond, as they could see they're losing me and thought by talking louder I might listen to them.
They don't understand I'm a believer and proud to be so, but I question the way Islam is practiced in our family and just because I don't pray five times a day (neither do they) doesn't mean I don't have belief in my heart. They don't listen to my examples of our many relatives who pray five times a day but are non-Islamic in countless areas of their lives. I try at least not to be that.
But my sisters have little understanding of the person I am and think if they tell me enough times, I might be more like them. This applies to religion too. They think i'm losing my religious beliefs so thing if they lecture me about religion and tell me how good it is, i'll listen. I don't.
My family is religious and my parents have performed pilgrimage (which is compulsory for all Muslims) countless times. Religion is their solace, their day and lives are planned around it. If they'd spent a fraction of the time they've spent on religion on our family, their relationship with my brother, Parveen's marriage and my issues might have been different. Instead they buried their heads in the sand, made bad decisions (such as Parveen marrying Osama) and said "Allah will resolve everything, Allah will help". Parveen is still in a bad marriage so i'm waiting to see when that will be.
But religion is sometimes tossed to the wayside and their own backward beliefs are put into place, such as with Parveen's marriage. It's against Islam to force anyone into marriage, yet that's my father did. But that's not talked about. My father said i'd never be happy in my life because Islam dictates that children who disrespect their parents will never achieve success or happiness. Well, how can parents who overlook their children's happiness for their own reasons ever be happy?
Ignorant comment one
I'm dedicating a category to the ignorant comments on various topics, but generally relating to Muslims, made by my family. It's also shows yet again, despite living in this progressive country, where access to information is so easy, the bubble they prefer to live in with their preconceived ideas and opinions.
We were watching the Channel Four news, a feat in itself as they usually only watch Peace TV and such religious channels. The news story was of the eight terror suspects who are being tried for allegedly plotting to blow up eight different aeroplanes, all bound for different American locations.
Mohammed's comment: "They (the government) will kill them all".
My father: "They don't let Muslims live".
1. Did they not hear these men were going to kill innocent people, which is against Islam?
2. Can't they see beyond the 'Muslim' label these terrorists hide behind, for their own sick and twisted agendas?
3. There was no mention of 'killing' anyone (the men are on trial) and there is no death penalty in Britain
4. How was I ever born into this stupid family?
Posted at 08:36 PM in Ignorant comments, Religion | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)